She nods, though her eyes are still shut. Breathes in, breathes out. Making a choice. Like every time she feels it roiling under her skin and has to say no. She won't do that. She won't pick up something and make it hurt. She won't spill blood, even as her hands want to tighten into claws and ask for death, death, death. It would feel so good. It would be so easy. It would be so relieving. Even now, if she found something soft and vulnerable and good and crushed it into oblivion, it would fill her veins with warmth and joy.
But. People. Names and faces flood to mind, hands to hold, the feeling of being embraced in different ways. The shield of wings, the hold of slightly shaking arms, the tug on her sleeve to rouse her from nightmares. The taste of orange in her mouth to stave off weakness. The steady feel of a plastic controller in her hand, playing games and avoiding the reality that was crushing in. Lines cast out, crossed over, interweaving until a true net began to form.
"...I'm going to need to make a contingency plan. The person who knew about all this - he's not here." She'd know, she's certain of it. She had trusted him with that most sacred of tasks - kill me, if needed. If she doesn't have warning enough to beg someone to bind her, sedate her, do anything to keep her trapped in place. "And I don't...stop. Until I'm done."
It's what makes her so useful in fights. It's what makes her the worst person to face. She doesn't stop. She can't stop. She can never stop. Only until they yield, or die.
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But. People. Names and faces flood to mind, hands to hold, the feeling of being embraced in different ways. The shield of wings, the hold of slightly shaking arms, the tug on her sleeve to rouse her from nightmares. The taste of orange in her mouth to stave off weakness. The steady feel of a plastic controller in her hand, playing games and avoiding the reality that was crushing in. Lines cast out, crossed over, interweaving until a true net began to form.
"...I'm going to need to make a contingency plan. The person who knew about all this - he's not here." She'd know, she's certain of it. She had trusted him with that most sacred of tasks - kill me, if needed. If she doesn't have warning enough to beg someone to bind her, sedate her, do anything to keep her trapped in place. "And I don't...stop. Until I'm done."
It's what makes her so useful in fights. It's what makes her the worst person to face. She doesn't stop. She can't stop. She can never stop. Only until they yield, or die.